Shakira Hasn’t Called

Several months ago I was walking across the ocean floor with Shakira. We were of course carrying a large metallic shark over our heads for protection. I thought that hanging out with Shakira would be a good idea because I really wanted to learn how to belly dance. But Shakira was not as willing to teach me as I had hoped. She was too distracted by the great whites swimming around us. Determined to learn, my eyes were focused on her hips. “Ooh! Was that a move?” I’d ask. “No! Keep walking.” She’d hiss back. Needless to say, I was getting frustrated by her lack of dedication. “You know… I can walk much faster than this but I think I would really need to learn some belly dancing first.” Shakira turned around and grabbed my shoulders. “Alright,” she said, looking deep into my eyes. “I just had to make sure you were serious about learning.”

We put down the shark and Shakira taught me the basics. I learned very fast. Within a few minutes, she taught me everything she knew and we were dancing together. Shakira was very proud of me and told me I was her best student ever. She wanted me to go on tour with her and dance with her on stage. I told her I would check my schedule. We picked up our protective shark and continued walking. We eventually reached the metal shark rental office on the other side of the ocean. We returned our shark and got back our deposit. I thanked Shakira and told her I would be in touch.

I got home exhausted that night and went straight to bed. When I woke up the next morning I decided that I would definitely like to tour with Shakira. There were a few parties and doctor’s appointments that I would have to cancel but it was no big deal. I picked up my iPhone and looked for Shakira’s number but it was not there. Hmm. Maybe she had given me another name and I had forgotten. I looked through all of my contacts but I found only friends and family. I decided it was no big deal. She would call me soon and I’d explain that somehow I had lost her number. 

While I was waiting for her call, I decided to practice my new dance moves. In my bedroom, in front of my full length mirror, the moves somehow looked different than I had imagined. I tried to remember everything I had learned but the knowledge was slipping from me quickly. I put on a Shakira video hoping it would spark my memory. I tried to copy the dancing I saw on t.v. but something wasn’t right. Maybe it had been easier under water. When Shakira called I would tell her we needed to have a rehearsal before dancing on stage. Everything would be fine. When she had looked me in the eyes the day before I knew she had seen that I was destined for greatness.

Shakira did not call. I have to say that I am a little disappointed in her. I knew it had been a mistake to write my number on her hand — it probably came off under water. I am however listed in the phone book and it is not that difficult to find me. She really should have made the effort. I see that she has started her tour without me and it is such a shame. The dancers on stage with her don’t have half the magic I had dancing with Shakira. I will still listen to her music and I am sure she will be able to pay her bills without me but we both know she could have been so much more.


6 thoughts on “Shakira Hasn’t Called

  1. Charlie, your stories have become the highlight of my week. I love them, keep em coming. I also checked out your art website at am so proud of you. In 7 years or so, when I start making money (!) I am definately comissioning some work so start thinking!


  2. charlotte, they’re getting bettr and better. shakira is so slutty, and she never would have called you!!!!!!!!!!!!! you were probably a better dancer in and out of the ocean.
    your choices of characters are brilliant. who would ever go under water with shakira?????????
    keep up the good work. i look forward to monday’s. i had no problem opening this. yea!!!!
    love you lots, gloria


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