Dear Friends who know the REAL me,
As most of you already know, four months ago, Cindi, aka the love of my life, tore my living breathing heart right out of my chest and beat it to death. So. These past few months have been the worst of my life. I am eating crap and all of my clothes are dirty. Really. I am wearing my mom’s sweatpants. I am also being evicted. So. I decided it was time for me to move on and up with my life. I have ‘til the end of the month. So. Do any of you guys know ANY females? If you do, have them fill out this questionnaire and email me their answers along with a current full body photo. ASAP.
The Chance of a Lifetime with Jeremy Hoober Questionnaire:
- Do you have your own pad?
- Do you like to cook and clean?
- What is your name?
- Do you complain a lot or do you suffer in silence?
- Are you friends with or do you know my ex girlfriend, Cindi?
- If you are, why did she break up with me?
- Do you have a nice computer?
- Do you like to play World of Warcraft?
- Do you like to watch people play World of Warcraft?
- Would you say you’re more slutty or more old fashioned?
- Would you be on top most of the time?
- Do you have kids?
- Do you know class when you see it?
- Do you agree that a relationship isn’t over until we BOTH say it’s over?
- Are you a hard twerker? Just kidding. But really. Can you twerk?
Thanks for your help guys! Keep it real- G.I. Jeremy
8 thoughts on “G.I. Jeremy”
Great writing! one, two, three times…
I already have your blog and I will be reading all your short stories from now on…Congratulations!!!
Imaginative, good construction, almost every one of your pieces could evolve into something longer.
i read it again this morning with my coffee, i am so in love with experimenting with different formats, “emails”, “as seen on”, “as heard at”, “found at”, “written under the influence”, it is a double challenge because you are not only creating deep characters, you have to write according to the requirements of the media. Something happens to me with this shorts: as with the movies i like, i don’t want them to end.
This is SO funny. I know so many guys like G. I. Jeremy.
i forwarded the email to my aunt juanita, and she wants to get in touch with your friend…
Ok, this one is a hoot. I actually DID laugh out loud about 6 times… very nice! Thanks