Cleaning My Room

I am all for not living in filth. Really, I am. In theory. It’s just that every time I start to clean my room, I become really interested in doing other stuff. Everything distracts me. Take today for example: I found some books that I thought I had lost, so I sat on my bed and looked at them and thought about reading them. That took awhile. Then I started to look around the room at the mess. It was overwhelming, so I decided to make a list of what was most important to clean.

I know that having dirty dishes in the bedroom is gross because of bad smells and bugs, so those were number one on my list. The same goes for food in the trash can, spilled food, and sugary drinks. I decided that the cups of coffee were okay unless they had milk and therefore should not be left in the room for much longer. The clean clothes pile had somehow gotten itself mixed up with the dirty clothes pile, so now all clothes had to be re-smelled and re-piled. I wrote down dust because dust being all over everything is unfortunate. Then I crossed it out. As long as I remember to pick things up slowly, my allergies wont act up. If I don’t open my curtains during the day, you can’t even tell that there is any dust at all. I got bored writing the list and decided I had better start cleaning. I took the dirty dishes to the kitchen and made some coffee.

A few hours later I came back to my room and started to sort through the clothes on the floor. It turned out to be much easier than I thought. Since all the clothes were touching and some were dirty, I decided they were all dirty. Therefore it did not matter how I separated them just as long as I made a clear path from my bed to the bathroom. It should have only taken a few minutes, but I was watching myself in the mirror. I was trying to decide whether or not I looked believable as a cleaning person. Not because I am white or anything, just based on my posture or technique or whatever.

I tried watching myself fold some shirts, but that only made me hungry. Then I realized that every time I fold clothes I get hungry. That means I eat more when I clean. That means cleaning makes me gain weight. After this revelation, I had to rethink my priorities. How badly did I want a clean room? Pretty badly. Was it worth gaining five pounds? Definitely not. I needed a solution. I needed to think. I decided to play some word challenge on facebook so I could clear my head. After beating all my friend’s high scores, I came up with the answer. Christmas is two weeks away and I am going to St. Louis. Instead of putting away all my clothes, I would just pack them. If you pack like I do (the stuffing method), then it doesn’t feel like cleaning at all. Plus it’s fun because you get to think about where you are going and who you are going to see. I finished cleaning my room and I am all packed. Now I just have to find something to wear tomorrow.


10 thoughts on “Cleaning My Room

  1. Charlotte i really liked this story and i relate to it so much! I hate cleaning so much but i know it has to get done which suck. I also get easily distracted like you i start thinking of other things to do instead of cleaning. This story was awesome and i can’t wait to read some more! Keep up the good work! Love ya babe!


  2. I love this story. It is my life. I always go to FB when I should be doing something else. Paths through messy rooms are called “goat paths” (I learned that in clutter class) Love, “Receptacle”


  3. I was preparing to pack for my yearly 3200 mile, three weak Holiday ramble… I was trying desperately to get done in time to leave, but my laundry wasn’t dry, so I looked at my e-mail, saw your story…

    … and looked for the hidden camera that MUST be in my room (but hard to see under dust and piles of empty packages, clothing and pizza boxes…)

    I LOVE this one… Happy Holidays!


  4. Great!!! i am impressed by the sense of time and space that you show here, every time i read one of your stories i see a different depth, a lot to do in so few words….probably what i consider to be the biggest merit of this story is that it feels like an actual play. I can ses the stage, the decor, the light…very beckett i think…i love you


  5. great strategies…clear competition for Martha’s oh so boring techniques. i sense a handy book of practical housekeeping ideas coming. happy holidays!


    1. tracy, she’s just like karla was. i was always going to uci to help her clean her room. they really don’t change i’ve found. now, dean does everything.


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