Dreaming of Celebrities

I woke up this morning feeling exhausted, and it wasn’t due to a lack of sleep. In fact, I slept nine hours straight last night. Yet my back was aching, my neck was sore; I felt as if I had been hit by a bus. It took me awhile to get out of bed, but I had to pee really bad, so I forced myself up. As I was peeing, it hit me. I remembered what I had been dreaming, and I knew why I was so tired.

In my dream, it was my job to bathe one of the contestants from The BIggest Loser. His name is Michael and he is on the white team. He is Italian and hairy, and he weighs almost 500 lbs. In the dream, he was sitting in a giant kiddie pool filled with soapy water. He was covered by a blue tarp with holes in it. I had to stick my hands through the holes and scrub him with a sponge. Michael would smile at me and tell me not to forget to wash the underparts. It was awful. I couldn’t even tell what I was scrubbing, and the sponge kept getting tangled in his body hair. Then he would yell at me for pulling his hair and I would have to start all over.

What the fuck right? The most terrifying thing to me is that in my dream, I had accepted this life. I didn’t wake up screaming or sweating like I do with normal nightmares. I just woke up feeling like crap. The memories of bathing Michael have been haunting me all day. I tried to concentrate in class, but I was very distracted. Because I was so traumatized, I decided I had to share this dream with everyone I know. Most of the people I have told this story to laugh, a few people’s jaws dropped, but my favorite reaction so far has been from my friend Taylor. She listened to my dream and then said “Hmm. You’re like my sister. She’s always dreaming that she is friends with celebrities.”


4 thoughts on “Dreaming of Celebrities

  1. …I wonder what’s the profile for that job…I like Taylor’s take on the dream…it’s obvious that you just want to tag along with famous people…I am telling you..I know…


  2. This is so funny and interesting. I can relate to accepting a bad situation as “the way it is.” I love you.


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