Customers are shopping at a Food 4 Less in LA. The loudspeaker clicks on.

Yep Yep, Sharon here!  Hey there valued customers! Juuuuuust lettin y’all know that we have got something fun….. For…. You! That’s right, watermelon bowling! What? Watermelon bowling? That’s right! Head on over to aisle 6 and see how many toilet paper rolls you can knock down with one of our juicy seedless Alabama delights! Here at Food 4 Less, fun is for everyone! Not just for little kids and whores. Who’s bein’ uptight now, Stan? Sorry folks, just sending a little shout out to my ex over in customer service. Hah! Customer service my be-hind! So, who doesn’t know how to have a good time now? I’m bringin’ joy to hundreds of shoppers!!!! Bet your new beeeyach cant do that can she? Can you Melissa? NO. I think not! I bet these valued customers would agree with me that man stealing whores are not much fun at all. Even an easy food bagger like you that will wham bam thank you my man in the storage room while I am hard at work stacking up boxes of Rice-a-friggin-roni. There is a sale on avocados. Two for three dollars. There is also a sale on imitation crab meat- Melissa honey, you’re gonna get some real crabs for free- get it?! Stan is a giant douchebag. Jumbo sized Vicks Vapor Rub is half off today only. Thank you so much for shopping at Food 4 Less! Y’all come back now.