It was lunchtime at the daycare and I was trying to get the kids into the dining room. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed one of the girls fascinated by something on the floor. She was poking at it and squishing it in her fingers. I asked her what it was and she said, “Chicken poop.” I told her it looked a little bit too big to be chicken poop. “Oh,” she said holding it closer to her face, “then it’s kid poop.” It sure was.
I picked her up fast and washed her hands before she could stick her fingers in her mouth. As I was washing her hands for the third time, she told me whose poop she thought it was and then she said “its okay. He’s like me. I poop too.” Inspired by her inclusive and non-judgmental attitude I said, “that’s right, everyone poops. I poop too.” She stared at me for a second and asked “But do you poop on the floor?” No. I guess I don’t.
After she was clean, I decided to go check on the possible culprit. He was sitting on the floor smashing two tractors into each other. I asked him if he had poop in his diaper. He nodded his head and kept on smashing. He seemed pretty indifferent about his poo filled diaper. I took this as a good sign. If he didn’t care, then maybe it wasn’t that bad. I was wrong.
There was so much poop in that diaper that for a moment I just stood there staring at it. I looked at the boy and then at the poop and then back at the boy. It just didn’t seem possible. I finally snapped out of it, and began to change my first diaper ever. I didn’t really know what I was doing. I mean, I got it in theory – take off the dirty diaper, clean the kid off, put on a clean diaper. It’s just that there are some in between steps that are not explained in that theory. I had seen regular pee diapers changed on the changing table, but this was a whole different story. I’m not even sure where I went wrong. I think it might have been how I grabbed the diaper. I underestimated its weight and it kind of flopped the other way. Poop fell all over the place. My forearms, the table, the floor. Again, I just stared at it.
Luckily the kid was in a really good mood. He was smiling at me and saying poop a lot. I cant imagine what it would have been like if he were crying.
I finally cleaned everything up and we made it to lunch. To my surprise, I had not lost my appetite. In fact, I was starving. Apparently so was the boy. He made his way through three bowls of rice and peas. I looked up at the clock and smiled. I only had five more minutes of work. He could eat as much as he wanted. The next diaper he filled would be for someone else.
Non judgmental diaper changing. I love that. I have missed your stories. This one is special because I have the face of the culprit in my memory and I can perfectly imagine him just being adorable while pooping twice his weight. Great writing my love. 🙂
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I think I would have a problem not saying “Shit, shit, shit!” in your shituation.
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Hilarious! I’ve only babysat once in my life and the kid was already housebroken. Phew!
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Well if not chicken poop, then we’ll go for second most likely. That’s reasonable. – You are hilarious, Mrs. D.R.
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This one was a shoulder shaker… perhaps I find it funnier because of changing diapers for the kids I babysit. It really does make it easier when they don’t mind (try changing a diaper when the kid really doesn’t want to lie down, and instead tries to roll all over the place!). One girl I watch even has a pair of “pee” and “poo” stuffed toys, like a teddy bear but a yellow droplet and a brown blob. I don’t really get it, but anything to promote laughing instead of crying and rolling is preferable in the end. 🙂
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