Starring Jordan Black as Donald Bigbelow
Written by Charlotte Dean
Directed by Charlotte Dean and Tracy Newman
Original film score by Tracy Newman
Filmed by Nathan Warburton
Category: romance
Quesaboda
You used to call me on my cellphone…
Free coloring pages. Enjoy!
Who’s Booty Is That?
Yet another classic from Donald Bigbelow. This is his first romantic mystery novel. I’m honored to post it here on my blog.
“Who’s Booty Is That?”
It was dark outside and slippery from rain. Detective Bruno was walking around investigating and he tripped on something sexy. Whoa. Is that a booty? He used his detective skills and said, “Are you dead?”
The booty said “No. My name is Brenda. I was scared, so I started doing my yoga. See?” She did downward doggie and Bruno said “let me investigate with my private dick.”
They did it rainy day style in the nighttime. “I feel so much safer now,” said Brenda.
Case closed.
Fin
They call him Bigbelow…
See the legend in action Oct. 28th @ The Groundlings.
The Beach
This novel is longer and more visual than my other Twitter novels. It took me two tweets. It’s called “The Beach.”
By: Donald Bigbelow
Mary was drowning like this in the ocean. Luke saved her life with some oral CPR. She stood up and shook the water off her wet body like a sexy blonde dog. So, no one died that day, and everyone got a hard on. They did it on the sand to the rhythms of the noisy ocean.
Fin.
Follow me on Twitter @DonaldBigbelow
Prom
Hi, Donald Bigbelow here.
I understand that not everyone has time to read half a page. So now I am writing really short romance novels for men on the go.
That’s right, I’m talking about Twitter. You can follow me @DonaldBigbelow
I tweeted this novel earlier today. It’s called “Prom.”
Penny’s thong stuck up outta her jeans, so Matt asked her to Prom. He wore a tie and put a flower on the titty part of her dress. Sex.
Fin.
Martin Luther King Day
This is one story from the book Really Short Romance Novels for Men By Donald Bigbelow.
Martin Luther King Day
By Donald Bigbelow
Sherri was sad because it was Martin Luther King Day and her husband was white. She knew she could not truly experience the full meaning of MLK day without doing sex to a black man. Her day off from work was going to be wasted. Sherri looked at her husband and sighed. He was a pretty good husband, but still white. Then Sherri remembered that their neighbor Donald was black. Sherri made iced tea and walked across the street to Donald’s house in a silky red dress and stripper heels.
Ding-dong said the doorbell. Donald opened the door in a mostly clean tank top and boxers. “Sup?” He asked. “I have iced tea for us to sip on,” Sherri said, stepping into the house sexily and closing the door behind her, also sexily. “Do you like my dress Donald? I wore it just for you.” Then Sherri did a handstand and revealed that she was butt naked under her dress. “Hey! Do that again,” said Donald, and they had handstand sex for a while.
Afterwards, they drank some iced tea and everybody was quiet and happy. After they had a little rest, there was a close up of Sherri’s hard nipples. She winked at Donald and jiggled her butt and made Donald get another boner. This time, they did it in the kitchen because that is where the Cheetos are. Sherri didn’t mind at all that Donald ate Cheetos while they did it. She licked the extra cheese powder off his fingers and said “mmm happy Martin Luther King Day Donald. I learned a lot.”
Fin.
Thanksgiving
You know, I wish I had known about that Applebees’s Writing Contest last year! I really think I could have won first place, too. I could sure use that dinner for two at Applebee’s. I write romance novels for men, but men don’t need a whole novel. We just need half a page. I’m going to read you my favorite story. It’s called “Thanksgiving.”
The wine was cheap, the turkey was dry, and Scarlett was tired of pretending not to notice Jeff’s mullet. Of all the guys to be set up with. And on Thanksgiving, the most romantic holiday of the year.
Ugh. Scarlett couldn’t take another bite. “I’m gettin’ the pie,” she muttered as she started for the kitchen. “I’ll help,” offered Jeff, looking at her with sex eyes. They went into the kitchen. She began to remove the pie from the box, when she felt Jeff throbbing beside her. There was a slight breeze coming in from the window above the sink and as Jeff turned towards her, the long hairs from the back of his mullet were swept up and ever so slightly grazed the side of Scarlett’s neck.
She gasped. A wave of electrifying heat went through her tight body. Their eyes met. Scarlett decided to give Jeff a chance, so she took her off her panties. “Motorbutt me,” she said, putting her booty on Jeff’s face. “Now do me all over the kitchen.” Jeff happily obliged. “Wow. You’re such a good listener,” Scarlett sighed.
After they boned, they ate pie. It was the most delicious pumpkin pie Scarlett had ever had. And the wine tasted so expensive now! Jeff flipped his long healthy hair over his shoulder and fixed his eyes on Scarlett’s titties.
No one had a headache and everybody wanted to do it again, but there was no pressure to do anything right or be clean. Then they watched a monster truck rally on TV and did it all over the couch and floor and Scarlett loved it. She said “Wow. I loved it! Let’s go outside where there are flowers and other nature.”
Then Jeff rode Scarlett off into the sunset.
Fin.
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