True Story or Urban Legend? 

I woke up this morning remembering a story I heard about in high school. I can’t remember if it was a news story or just an urban legend. I was about to google it to find out, but I decided not to. I feel like thinking about it instead, and reaching out to other people who might have heard about it too. Without looking it up, this is what I remember:

A popular teenage girl goes to a tanning salon to get a nice tan before her senior prom. She talks the people who work at the salon into letting her do multiple sessions in a row. She spends hours in a tanning bed and literally cooks herself to death. I don’t remember if she dies in the bed or later on that day. I feel like I read about this in the newspaper- I can almost picture the girl, but my mind could also be playing tricks on me. There is also an episode of Bones where a woman is murdered by being locked in a tanning bed, so obviously it’s possible.

Does anyone else remember this story?! What do you think- true story or urban legend?

Advertisements

Clone Steak

Would it be considered cannibalism for a person to eat a human clone? Rodrigo says yes, but I am not sure. I tend to think of clones as steaks waiting to happen. Not in a bad way, I just don’t really consider them to be human. Rodrigo says that people like  me are the reason that human clones don’t exist- they wouldn’t be safe or whatever. Like I am one of the bad guys from that movie The Island. But those guys were really bad. And wasteful. I mean, if you are going to kill a clone for its liver or heart, why not cook up the rest of it for dinner? It is really messed up when they kill sharks for their fins or elephants for their tusks, and then just leave the animals to rot and die. Why should clones be any different? Honestly I do think there should be human clones, but not really for harvesting organs. Just for food. I think famous people who look like they would taste good should be cloned first. Imagine going to the supermarket and finding prepackaged cuts of Brad Pitt steak or a bag of Angelina Jolie wings ( I don’t think I’d go for those). There could be Beyonce brisket and Russel Crowe ribs, I bet you Scarlett Johansson tastes like chicken. I would have no problem at all eating human clones. I would probably stop eating other animals. I would be a vegetarian of sorts. So I ask you, whose clone meat would you eat?

Do it Yourself Psychology

Chapter 1:

Unfinished Business

As you may already know, repressing emotions has always been considered a major no-no among psychologists with degrees. It has reportedly been the cause of stress and in some cases severe mental retardation. Ground breaking research now suggests that keeping our business unfinished might actually help us live longer. Some would say it is what keeps us alive. Lets observe the following cases.

Case 1:

Jackie and Fernando

Fernando never cleaned his pubic hair off the Dove bar in the shower. It was gross and drove Jackie nuts. She couldn’t say anything about it because Fernando was the one who cooked and if she upset him at all he would burn the food. Every morning while taking a shower, Jackie’s blood would boil. She would stare at that hairy soap and imagine all the terrible things she wanted to do to Fernando. One morning while Fernando was at work and Jackie was in the shower, someone broke into their house. The intruder came into the bathroom with a gigantic knife and tried to stab Jackie in the face. She grabbed a bottle of Pert Plus to defend herself with and ended up beating the intruder to death. According to Jackie “I was just so pissed at that nasty bar of soap I became like a superhero or something. And there was no way in Hell I was gonna die before telling Fernando what a disgusting pig he was.”

Case 2:

Lisa and Frank

Lisa and Frank had been married five years. They had a two story well furnished house in the more affordable part of Glendale. They had a poodle, a pool, and two children. Life was what it was and they were both content. One day, Frank was out for a stroll by the pool when he tripped on a rake and fell onto the pool cover. Frank’s weight caused the cover to sink and close in around him. He was quickly going under water. Frank fought frantically for his life and after a long painful struggle was able to reach the edge of the pool and pull himself out. When asked about what went through his mind in those would be last moments, Frank recalls in detail a burning desire to scream at Lisa for leaving the rake out by the pool. He claims that while he loves his life, he would not have fought so hard for it had he not been so angry at Lisa.

Final Thoughts

Case 1 is an example of years of harboring resentment. So far there is no scientific evidence that long term bottling of emotions is a more effective means of life preservation than the short term need to resolve unfinished business as shown in Case 2. However, here at D.I.Y. Psychology, we recommend storing some awful experiences just to be on the safe side.

The Day I Started Writing It Down

 

When I woke up, I met Dr. Joseph K. Wilson. He told me I had been in a bad bad accident and I was in a coma for six days. I asked if that was a long time and that was when he realized I had lost some connectors in my brain. He said I forgot many things but I don’t feel like things are missing until he tells me they are. Like numbers. Dr. Joseph K. Wilson said to make lists of things I do remember. I still have not finished writing them all down. He asked me to count the pages I had written so far and I said there were three and he said there were two hundred and eleven. I cannot count anymore. When I try to count I am scared and feel dizzy. He says I do not have to count anymore. He is protecting me and keeping me safe. 

I remember things from before the bad bad accident. Dr. Joseph K. Wilson is trying to know what things I remember and why I remember them and not others. I remember people and places and smells and dreams and Superman and the moon. I remember school and Ms. Sherman and her parrot Sherman and reading Animal Farm. I remember the light brown eyes of the boy who stepped on my tuna sandwich and got angry with me because he had tuna on his shoe. I remember that the smell of vanilla makes me throw up. Dr. Joseph K. Wilson asked me if I remembered learning about gravity. I said I did. I remember the word gravity and my blue science book called Science 1 & 2 with a picture of a rainbow coming out of a prism on the cover. I remember Mr. Marks saying the word gravity and talking about the Earth; the planet where I live. Dr. Joseph K. Wilson asked me if I knew what gravity was and told me to think really hard about it. I tried but I felt dizzy again and I wanted to stop thinking about it. He told me to try harder but I told him I could not breathe and then he let me rest. 

He gave me cookies and cream ice cream and I felt better. After eating my ice cream I asked him why did it matter if I remembered gravity. Dr. Joseph K. Wilson told me that I am special. He said he did not know it at first. He said that when he met me he thought I might not be able to walk anymore. I told him that he was right. I cannot walk. He said walking doesn’t matter anymore because I can fly. And flying is better than walking.