Long Walks on the Beach

 

Why does everyone on dating sites say they like taking long walks on the beach? I don’t. I don’t think I even know anyone who does. It’s hard to walk on sand. Every time I do it, my calves hurt, I sweat, and I start breathing like a stalker. I can’t imagine that being a pleasant first date with someone. Yet universally, it seems to be that “a romantic dinner followed by a long walk on the beach holding hands” is the ideal first date people describe. I think it’s a lie. I think that it is probably the best answer to a seriously messed up multiple choice question like:

Describe your ideal first date:

A. A romantic dinner followed by clubbing seals.

B. A romantic dinner followed by watching a 12 hour marathon of Toddlers and Tiaras.

C. A romantic dinner followed by a long walk on the beach holding hands.

D. A romantic dinner followed by a 6 mile run.

I’d still probably rather watch Toddlers and Tiaras than walk on the beach. I guess I’m just not outdoorsy.

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