Thanksgiving: The Movie

Starring Jordan Black as Donald Bigbelow

Written by Charlotte Dean

Directed by Charlotte Dean and Tracy Newman

Original film score by Tracy Newman

Filmed by Nathan Warburton

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Mother’s Day

Hi I am Lisa Sherdlinger and I am in Mr. Bigbelow’s writing class. I have learned so much about good writing. I used to just write about my life and my feelings, but Donald has helped me cut out all that boring stuff. Here is my first story from his class it is called Mother’s Day.

 

Mother’s Day

By: Lisa Sherdlinger

It was Mother’s Day, so Dan sent the kids away and made strong coffee. When Juliette woke up, the house was quiet and there were no dirty dishes in the sink. Dan was waiting for her in the kitchen. He looked younger and less bald than usual. He walked over to her in slow motion and handed her a cup of coffee. “I’ll be waiting for you upstairs whenever you’re ready for your 90 minute massage.”

The massage was so good that Juliette drooled on the bed. “That really turns me on,” said Dan. Then there was a knock at the bedroom door. It was Thor, the hot food bagger from Whole Foods. “Happy Mother’s Day, Juliette,” he said taking off all of his clothes including his socks. “I always knew you would look so sexy naked and without your kids.” Thor and Dan had a fight about how bad they each wanted Juliette for themselves. Thor won.

Then Thor and Juliette had passionate sex while Dan made dinner for everybody. After dinner Juliette drank some wine and watched TV and the guys built a new deck in the back of the house. It was the sexiest Mother’s Day ever.

 

The end.

Prom

Hi, Donald Bigbelow here.

I understand that not everyone has time to read half a page. So now I am writing really short romance novels for men on the go.

That’s right, I’m talking about Twitter. You can follow me @DonaldBigbelow

I tweeted this novel earlier today. It’s called “Prom.”

Penny’s thong stuck up outta her jeans, so Matt asked her to Prom. He wore a tie and put a flower on the titty part of her dress. Sex.

Fin.

Martin Luther King Day

This is one story from the book Really Short Romance Novels for Men By Donald Bigbelow.

Martin Luther King Day

By Donald Bigbelow

Sherri was sad because it was Martin Luther King Day and her husband was white. She knew she could not truly experience the full meaning of MLK day without doing sex to a black man. Her day off from work was going to be wasted. Sherri looked at her husband and sighed. He was a pretty good husband, but still white. Then Sherri remembered that their neighbor Donald was black. Sherri made iced tea and walked across the street to Donald’s house in a silky red dress and stripper heels.

Ding-dong said the doorbell. Donald opened the door in a mostly clean tank top and boxers. “Sup?” He asked. “I have iced tea for us to sip on,” Sherri said, stepping into the house sexily and closing the door behind her, also sexily. “Do you like my dress Donald? I wore it just for you.” Then Sherri did a handstand and revealed that she was butt naked under her dress. “Hey! Do that again,” said Donald, and they had handstand sex for a while.

Afterwards, they drank some iced tea and everybody was quiet and happy. After they had a little rest, there was a close up of Sherri’s hard nipples. She winked at Donald and jiggled her butt and made Donald get another boner. This time, they did it in the kitchen because that is where the Cheetos are. Sherri didn’t mind at all that Donald ate Cheetos while they did it. She licked the extra cheese powder off his fingers and said “mmm happy Martin Luther King Day Donald. I learned a lot.”

Fin.

Thanksgiving

You know, I wish I had known about that Applebees’s Writing Contest last year! I really think I could have won first place, too. I could sure use that dinner for two at Applebee’s. I write romance novels for men, but men don’t need a whole novel. We just need half a page. I’m going to read you my favorite story. It’s called “Thanksgiving.”

The wine was cheap, the turkey was dry, and Scarlett was tired of pretending not to notice Jeff’s mullet.  Of all the guys to be set up with.  And on Thanksgiving, the most romantic holiday of the year.

Ugh. Scarlett couldn’t take another bite. “I’m gettin’ the pie,” she muttered as she started for the kitchen. “I’ll help,” offered Jeff, looking at her with sex eyes. They went into the kitchen. She began to remove the pie from the box, when she felt Jeff throbbing beside her. There was a slight breeze coming in from the window above the sink and as Jeff turned towards her, the long hairs from the back of his mullet were swept up and ever so slightly grazed the side of Scarlett’s neck.

She gasped. A wave of electrifying heat went through her tight body. Their eyes met. Scarlett decided to give Jeff a chance, so she took her off her panties. “Motorbutt me,” she said, putting her booty on Jeff’s face. “Now do me all over the kitchen.” Jeff happily obliged. “Wow. You’re such a good listener,” Scarlett sighed.

After they boned, they ate pie. It was the most delicious pumpkin pie Scarlett had ever had. And the wine tasted so expensive now! Jeff flipped his long healthy hair over his shoulder and fixed his eyes on Scarlett’s titties.

No one had a headache and everybody wanted to do it again, but there was no pressure to do anything right or be clean. Then they watched a monster truck rally on TV and did it all over the couch and floor and Scarlett loved it. She said “Wow. I loved it! Let’s go outside where there are flowers and other nature.”

Then Jeff rode Scarlett off into the sunset.

Fin.